London, day 13

     A tour of London started off the day.  We drove around London, touring various important buildings, looking at olympic preparations, seeing places where famous films were shot, such as Sweeney Todd, National Treasures 2, and Sherlock Holmes.
     In National Treasures 2, there's a car chase in front of a church and you will see thirty or so catholic priests standing in front of it.  This is mildly ironic for the church is a protestant church.  To the left of those steps, there is a door that Sherlock Holmes kicks in to stop Lord Blackwood, though in real life, it leads to couple mops and a bucket.  There was also the opera Holmes goes to in an attempt to foil Moriarty.  As one more famous place, we went to the Leadenhall Market, which is where Diagon Alley is filmed, again being Harry Potter.
     After that we went to Buckingham Palace (the queen was not home) to try again for the Changing of the Guard.  Thankfuly, The rain had just stopped so they were able to proceed.  The whole thing was far more elaborate than what I ever expected, thats for sure. (Quick Quip; If the guards do not meet the standards for their attire, they have to spend a day in jail!)
     We ate lunch and drove to Warwick castle, one of the better castles in Europe.  We listened to a wench and an archer argue about going to Singapore, apparently they were supposed to be madly in love. ;-)  We were retrieved by Master J (a knight) who expected us to follow his orders to the letter.  He was to introduce us to the wonderful castle and all of its defenses, which were extensive.

1. A deep trench that made a very steep incline to the castle
2. The trench was filled with hundreds upon hundreds of wooden sticks, sharpened to a point.
3. All sewage was emptied into the trench.  You would get stabbed and quietly die in human waste.
4. A drawbridge.  You could get this down if you threw enough men at it, but there would be archers and other people throwing stuff down on you.
5. A heavy portcullis, it required four men to lift it and there would be people stabbing at them through the portcullis, but if course if you there enough men at it, you would get it open
6. Only to have heavy oak doors shut in your face.
7. Then, if you throw enough men at it, it would be broken down and you would come to where you come to die, which is basically a 'hall' without a roof and there would be arrows raining down as well as pitch and other unpleasantries.
8. A second, heavier portcullis would slam shut and, if you threw enough men at it, you would get it open.
9. To have two sets of even heavier oak doors slam in your face.
10. You would need a battering ram, but the street was cobbled and littered with bodies, making it nigh impassible.  Keep in mind that pitch and rocks was still raining down.  When, by throwing enough men at it, the doors fell, the battle hadn't even started yet and you were lucky to have 20% of your army left
11. You would be greeted by well rested pikes man, knights, and archers.  You on the other hand would be exhausted and disorganized.  Good luck.

     We ate dinner and started our training to be a soldier of Warwick Castle.  Master J started us off with the fine art of swordplay who taught us page one of a five hundred page guide book to the finer arts of sword fighting.  Then we were handed over to professional pikes man who came straight from Scotland who taught us how to stay alive in battle and even had a little mock up battle.  After that, we were back with the archer who told us of his trade and taught is the 3 M's of armor. (Material, mail, and metal) Since none of had very high paying jobs (we were rookies, he an archer) coming to get decent armor was unlikely, or you could find some on the battle field.  Witty.

     As a final surprise, we were treated with one of the world's largest trebuchets (18 meters high, weighing 22 and a half tons) fire a fire ball into the gathering darkness.  Best day ever.